The Way I Loved You
by AllynDupe
Summary: Cloud is very content being with Sephiroth, his boyfriend that seems absolutely perfect. His life is going normal and well, until he comes across a photo of an ex boyfriend,and a strange question surfaces..Is Sephiroth too perfect? Lyrics c Taylor Swift.


Cloud climbed out of his bed, running a hand casually through his tangled and jumbled blonde locks. The bedsheets were entangled in his feet like a dreamy white hand, that brought his mind back into the time of the night before.

He often slept easily, crashed in bed early and woke up late. He scratched his shoulder nonchallently, his mind still fuzzy like the static on a TV screen from being lost in the dizzy world of dreams for so long. He started to walk across his stuffy bedroom towards his door, wondering what he would be doing later on that day, and about the time.

He walked down the carpeted stairs and reached the first floor of his house with success, walking into the kitchen where he noticed his Mother, washing dishes in the sink, and humming a song that wouldn't have sounded more beautiful even if coming from a bird. Cloud walked deeper into the room, pulling out a chair and flopping down lazily, his body feeling as if he had just run a marathon.

"Good morning, Cloud." His Mother greeted, drying a white glass bowl with pretty blue flower patterns, as she looked back at him and smiled gently. He and his Mother shared the same subtle, kind smile, although she tended to show it a lot more frequently than Cloud did himself.

"Morning.." Cloud leaned back on the chair, rubbing his face and eyes with one hand, attempting to wake himself up a little more.

"What are your plans for today?" She questioned, reaching up to the cupboard that sat a little above her head, depositing the bowl and closing it again. "Will you be seeing Sephiroth?" His Mother asked, referring to his current boyfriend. She was fond of Sephiroth, and she once told Cloud that she thought they were perfect for eachother. That Sephiroth was responsible and able to take care of him, something Cloud knew was fact.

_He is sensible,  
And so incredible.  
And all my single friends are jealous.  
He says everything I need to hear,  
And it's like I couldn't ask,  
For anything better.  
He opens up my door,  
And I get into his car.  
And he says,  
You look beautiful tonight.  
And I feel perfectly fine. _

Cloud hesitated to answer the question, letting an image of his somehow 'too good to be true' boyfriend pass through his head. Beautiful locks of silver hair, tall, thin and otherwise stunning in the mind of the seventeen year old blonde. Along with all those things, Sephiroth was friendly towards him, and although and little hard to have fun with, he treated him better than anyone he could think of. His heart fluttered a little bit, and Cloud once again ran a hand through his spikey locks that had been infected with a serious case of bed-head. "I'm not sure." He finally responded.

"Oh?" His Mother looked over at him, her blue eyes like small sapphires glowing into his own.

"Yeah. I'll talk to him soon, I guess." Cloud shrugged, looking around the room for a clock for a few seconds. "What time is it?"

"It's..." Cloud watched his mother glance at a clock on the wall that he didn't seem to notice. "It's two o'clock." She said, smiling a little in humor, thinking about how rediculous her son's late sleeping was.

Cloud somehow wasn't surprised, as he got up from his kitchen chair and walked into the doorway, lingering for a second. "I'm gonna get a shower.." He stated, not looking back at his Mother before he pushed himself off of the doorframe and started back towards the staircase, to his bedroom to make his bed and his bathroom that contained his shower, the next events taking place in his life that would last a measly fifteen minutes.

However, as he entered his bedroom to make his bed, something he often did so his Mother wouldn't have to bother, something caught his eye - But not in the extravagant way a full moon does, or the bright, bold colors of an advertisment poster. It was...more subtle, and quiet, whsipering to him across his bedroom and telling him to take notice. As he arrived to the scene of the crime, he almost felt as if he had wanted to find it, and for it to catch his eye...As if he was subconciously looking for it, in some kind of not very level headed dream.

He saw a tiny, bleak white corner of something poking out of one of his dresser drawers. To most eyeballs that strangely noticed it, it would have looked like any casual puzzle peice of a teenager's messy room. But to Cloud...It seemed to exclaim, 'Find me!' at him, relentlessly.

So relentlessly, he found himself yanking open the drawer in a way that might have even looked eager if anyone had been watching, something rare in such an expressionless and monotonous boy. However, what was in front of him threatened to blow him over like an immense gust of wind on top of a moutain.

_But I miss screaming and fighting,  
And kissing in the rain.  
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name.  
You're so in love that you act insane,  
And that's the way I loved you.  
Breaking down and coming undone,  
It's a roller coaster kind of rush.  
And I never knew I could feel that much,  
And that's the way I loved you._

A simple photograph, most would assume. But for Cloud, it brought back breath taking, heart stopping memories. His heart began to race just as he stared at the glossy texture, a memory captured forever in material form.

His long black hair that reminded him of deep shadows that ran along walls with such inevitable grace; his slender frame and serious face that somehow looked welcoming in Cloud's frosty eyes; and his eyes that were red like dragon flesh, looking always as if they were burning so intensely they could melt any amount of ice. Just viewing these things that seemed to jump out of the picture like a child's pop up book, brought back a full year of unstoppable memeories, as countless as raindrops.

Cloud turned it over, to the plain and faceless opposing side. However, it may have been faceless, but it certainly wasn't wordless. He saw a single phrase written on the back in what looked to be permanent marker for the letters were black, thick and messy. He let his eyes scan the words several times, and it brought a strange blistering feeling on the inside of his heart.

_**I love you.  
-V.V **_He felt as if the rose that had once bloomed inside his heart, was beginning to regenerate itself. He thought about the one year relationship he had carried on with one of the most amazing and intriging people he had ever met; Vincent Valentine. This rose that had been planted and that had grown beneath the visibility of his heart, had caused him to be filled with joy like juice inside a ripe strawberry. Of course, the rose began to pain him when the petals started to fall one by one, and when the time came for the flower to wrinkle and wilt, the pain fell from constant to fading...Until he felt it no more.

Cloud layed the picture down on his dresser, smiling inwardly at the memory that encircled it like a hex. He remembered giving Vincent a picture of him as well, very similar to the one he previously held between his fingers. On the back, he wrote,

_**I love you,  
-C.S  
**_  
And they had exchanged them. He could still recall Vincent's exact words on that day, remembering them easily the way a certain line in a movie can stick out in one's mind. He remembered the dark, almost huskiness of his voice that was low and mysterious, speaking to him in a whole other language called 'romance'. The words he said were truly enlightening, feeling like the sun that lit up Cloud's sky. The water that filled his ocean, and the air that inflated his lungs.

_He respects my space,  
And never makes me wait.  
And he calls exactly when he says he will.  
He's close to my Mother.  
Talks business with my Father.  
He's charming and endearing,  
And I'm comfortable.  
__**  
**__'Cloud, this picture and this message I'm giving to you, will be here so whenever we fight you can be reminded that I love you, and I always will love you, no matter how out of hand our fighting may get. I wrote it in permanent marker to let you know that my love for you is forever.' _Cloud recalled those words, and it seemed as soon as he did he recalled many other things as well. He recalled the way his lips tasted, he remembered the strange gentle yet firm clasp of Vincent's hand around his own. The rose was blooming again, he was positive, for he felt this slightly painful kind of prickling in his heart; his chest fluttering like a beautiful butterfly had just emerged from it's buried and forgotten cocoon.

Suddenly, he found himself wondering how Vincent would react if he sent a simple phone call his way. They hadn't spoken for months, since their relationship ended and his and Sephiroth's began, but he remembered the back of the picture. Permanent...His love was forever. Feeling his hands beginning to grow a little cold, Cloud wondered if he could still -

_Brinngggg!  
Brinngggg!__**  
**_  
He nearly jumping through his bedroom ceiling from the sudden and ironic jolt of his home phone ringing. Not putting the picture down for a reason that lingered, undetected in the back of his head, Cloud walked over to his bedside table and pulled up the phone. He brought it to his ear. "..Hello?"

"Cloud?"

Cloud felt strangely disappointed, when he heard the low down, serious tone of his current love interest, Sephiroth. Not understanding why his heart seemed to sink just a little when he heard not the voice he somehow wanted, Cloud held the picture of Vincent up once again. Running his thumb across the shiney, smooth surface, he continued to stare into his ex-boyfriend's distant, smoking crimson eyes. "Hey." He finally replied, his eyes not leaving his keepsake that seemed to somehow be glowing with bright yellow opportunity, as he held it tightly in his hand.

"I was hoping you would be up." Sephiroth spoke again, his voice sounding far away and fading in Cloud's ear. "I would like to take you out to dinner tonight...Are you up for that?" He questioned, his voice just as hard and toneless as usual, but his question and intentions so sweet and innocent, like a child.

Cloud was positive he meant well, positive he loved Sephiroth. He wondered why this feeling for Vincent seemed to be re-surfacing, as he continued to carry on small talk with his boyfriend. "...Yeah, sure." He agreed, trying to break his mind from his ex, and eyes from the picture. However, it was much harder than his naive mind could comprehend; it was like trying to free every single person buried under a large rockslide. It simply wasn't able to happen. "Sounds good to me."

"Good. I have to go get ready, and I assume you do as well. It sounds like you just got up," Sephiroth paused, waiting for a response from Cloud, although none were pending or coming his way. "So, I'll make the reservations, and pick you up at six?"

_But I miss screaming and fighting,  
And kissing in the rain.  
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name.  
You're so in love that you act insane.  
And that's the way I loved you.  
Breaking down and coming undone,  
It's a roller coaster kind of rush.  
And I never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you. _

Cloud nodded; quickly realizing that wasn't detectable through phone conversation. Bringing his mind out of the thick fog that had begun to billow around his thoughts like a premature storm, Cloud quickly answered the question his lover was asking him. "Yeah. Six is fine."

"Alright. I'll call you before I drive over. I love you."

Cloud's eyes traveled through time and space, his mind was a blur. Like the ocean covered in mist in the early morning, before the sun comes up to enlighten and awaken. His mind had not yet been awakened. "I love you too," He responded, his voice just as flat as ever. "Bye."

He hung up his end of the phone after hearing that Sephiroth and done so, and he walked over to sit on his bed, recapping what had just happened. Finally he placed the picture of Vincent beside him, wondering why he was so strangely uninterested in going out with Sephiroth.

Leaving his bedroom and the picture to get ready for his shower, Cloud opened the linin closet and took out a white towel. He entered the bathroom, his thoughts about Vincent singing to him, a sweet and tender coo that threatened his actions stealthily.

Cloud turned on the hot water that came down like transparent, steaming little laser beams - and he hoped they would somehow clear his head. He hoped the temperature behind the navy blue shower curtain would melt away the freezing blizzard of reminesence that had invaded his head and heart like an eager emotion army.

Stepping into the bathtub, Cloud let the streams of stinging hot water run over his body, and it brought away a slight chill he was beginning to feel. Driving it away like the coming evening does the afternoon sun.

He shut his eyes, and he thought about what he was feeling - He thought about dinner with Sephiroth. How he'd probably be wearing a perfect suit and tie without seemingly a single wrinkle. How he'd have the same perfect expression, something that wasn't jolly but wasn't angry, the simple, smooth seriousness that filled him the way cream does a donut. How they'd talk about nothing relevant, and eat their expensive meal in the fancy retaurant that would probably have candles and wine glasses and a lace table cloth. He thought about how unappealing that entire package sounded, when he compared it to...

Vincent's idea of a date was nothing like an expensive restaurant run by stiffs. He liked going for simple drives in the car, or visiting the beach late at night. Walking in the evening when the sun was just going down and watching it together. And whenever they did such simple and enjoyable things, Vincent would never be caught in a unwrinkled suit. He wore typical and practical things, jeans and t-shirts, hoodies...Nothing that looked over the top. Instead of going to restaurants and dining on things such a steak, or lobster, they would go to a corner store and pick up ice cream. They would talk about things that Cloud did find relevant, and get wound up in a conversation so thick it was like being stuck in the centre of a ball of yarn. To Cloud, Vincent was...

Cloud shut off the water when he was finished washing his hair and body like usual, and he stepped out of the bathtub, nearly slipping on the floor as he did so. He grabbed his towel and slapped it around his waist, limply holding it there as he made his way out of the bathroom.

He knew how unappealing everything sounded compared to anything he and Vincent were capable of. Whenever he was with Vincent, he remembered the warm feeling. The comfort and happiness, he remembered how intoxicating and sedating his presence alone was. He remembered how he was home, whenever he could touch Vincent's hand, view his face and body, and feel his embrace. Whenever they were together.

_And he can't see the smile I'm faking,  
And my hearts not breaking,  
'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all.  
And you were wild and crazy,  
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated,  
Got away like some mistake._

However, he remembered how his soul seemed to be full of flames that licked his heart and burned it's edges, whenever a fight broke out between himself and the then love of his life. But he remembered how things were always cleaned up eventually, like a teenager's bedroom. A kiss would sometimes clear things up, or an apology. Sometimes and embrace, or a telephone call in the middle of the night. Either way, their relationship was an extremely healthy one, and he started to wonder when and why both boys had started to lose interest in it.

Drying himself off and beginning to get dressed, the blonde continued letting his thoughts gallavant down the train tracks inside his head - They were speeding, and no where close to stopping. If anything, he thought they might crash.

Standing in his boxers, he stared at himself hard in his bedroom mirror. He wasn't able to understand where he was supposed to be standing. Was he supposed to be in one of those itchy, starchy and uncomfortable suits as well, waiting for Sephiroth to arrive at six so he could be treated with amazing respect, never have to trouble himself with petty fights, and live and love happy for the remainder of their relationship? Or should he be picking through his closet like an old photo album, digging out the most comfortable pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt, so he could take a walk to Vincent's, where he would have a simple any enjoyable time? He may get into an argument or two, may not be treated with total respect and love one hundred percent of time or be happy from head to toe, but...Wasn't that healthy?

Cloud dug through his closet for some casual clothing, something he could relax while wearing. He knew his relationship with Sephiroth was great, and he truly believed that he was in love with him...To some extent. But Vincent was just...Everything he needed, and he was slowly beginning to regret the very first thought he had about their relationship beginning to fail. The eighteen year old boy with the black hair, skin pale like the stars that dotted the dim night sky, and the eyes that reminded him of a romantic crackling fire - Was more than Sephiroth could ever match up to, perfect in every way, or not.

He brushed some of his light hair out of his eyes as he began to search through the drawer in his dresser, where he had found the picture previously, after getting dressed in an everyday outfit. There was many keepsakes about Vincent; notes he had been given, various pictures...He just hoped what he was looking for also sat in the drawer, among his important memories and other random nick-nacks.

Finally, the small scrap of paper he had been digging for as if he was an archiologist, was clamped between his thumb and pointer finger, and he let his eyes scan over it. Vincent's name and phone number were listed, and he slowly led his body over to the telephone, not taking his eyes off the sloppy pen numbers he had written down so long ago.

He poked them in rather tediously, almost carefully as if he was committing a horrible and stealthy crime. He listened to the eerie, unnerving echoe of the phone ringing at Vincent's house. Unsure of what he was even doing and becoming more and more nervous by the passing second, Cloud waited to hear the pleasant rumble of Vincent's voice.

However, as soon as he heard a voice, it was that of Vincent's mother. Her calm words rung through the phone into Cloud's patient ear, nothing more than an answering machine message. Those usually meant, 'I'm gone out,' or 'I really don't want to talk to you.' Cloud prayed it was the first one as he listened to the voice of Vincent's Mother.

'Hello, you've reached The Valentine's. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you.'

Cloud swallowed as he heard the loud and almost obnoxious ibeeeep/i that followed, before beginning his awkward and unplanned message.

"Uh, hey, Vincent. It's...Cloud. Listen, can you meet me at the park, as soon as you can? I need to talk to you about...some things. I'll wait for you there, I hope you get this. Bye."

_And now...  
I miss screaming and fighting,  
And kissing in the rain.  
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name.  
I'm so in love that I acted insane,  
And that's the way I loved you.  
Breaking down and coming undone,  
It's a roller coaster kind of rush,  
And I never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you.  
_  
Cloud hung up the phone after delivering his message, flopping back on his bed for several seconds. There were many things he was starting to worry about,and slightly regret. He had just blown off his current boyfriend for his ex, for one thing. Another, he had left a rather awkward message on Vincent's family's answering machine. Not to mention, he had asked Vincent to meet him in the park, something that might not happen, leaving him stranded and waiting there on edge for hours.

However, whatever he had done, it was all going to have to unfold around him like a falling house of cards. All there was left for him to do was to go to the park, and to see how his uneventful message, mixed up thoughts, and abandonment of his boyfriend would play out in reality.

Grabbing a sweater and heading downstairs to locate and put on his shoes, Cloud felt nervous about where his actions had dropped him, leaving him to fend for himself in the harsh world of decisions. Not wanting to tell his Mother where he was in fear of her letting Sephiroth know, which would give him the bidding of tracking him down, Cloud rushed back up to his room and scribbled a message in blue pen telling his Mom he'd be home later. He placed it on the kitchen table and deserted the house before she found him and asked questions.

Soon, the introverted teenager found himself walking up the road alone, feeling the small and somewhat refreshing little pecks of rain flecking his face as he headed aimlessly towards the only park in town. The otherwise warm air felt strangely cool around his already soaking wet hair, and he let his feet carry him fast like racecars built for speed, his heart burning with his love for Vincent, the petals of the re-born rose more red and delicious than anything he could imagine.

There were a few families with children scurrying about on the playground, and realizing it was still the middle of the afternoon, Cloud was beginning to regret requesting that Vincent meet him in such an always populated place. However, the rain drops were beginning to fall down with more impact and speed and in higher numbers, and he knew the caring parents toting their small children with chubby hands and whispy hair, would not stick around and risk a cold. Not the way Cloud planned to, for as long as it would take for Vincent to arrive.

Sitting down on a swing, and watching few bright families having a pleasurable time for several minutes until the rain got bad, the guilt Cloud knew he was going to feel for standing Sephiroth up began to creep up on him like an ominous shadow. However, he tried to tell himself that no matter how guilty he felt, how idiotic and stupid, there was no turning back now. He had made the plans for dinner with Sephiroth. He had asked Vincent to meet him alone in the park. Either way, he would be letting someone down by being somewhere else, and at that sheer moment in time, he would so much rather it be his problem-less boyfriend.

Soon, it was pouring buckets, like a thousand angels crying their desperate and lonely tears into the land to bring it life. Any plans for family picnics and walks in the park were obviously soiled, and it wasn't long before Cloud found himself waiting for Vincent in the quiet, desolate soltitude that he had hoped for when he let the words that composed the message leave his lips. He sighed, feeling the rain plopping on his head, something that was far from pleasant with his current mood beginning to set in like a distant storm.

However, his heart began to rise from the darkness it was sinking into, when he saw the image of a person walking into the park. Long, raven colored hair that was becoming more and more matted with the rain as each second ticked away. Clothes as casual as his own, hands shoved deep down in sweater pockets, eyes on the ground.

Vincent. It could have been nobody else.

_And that's the way I loved you.  
Never knew I could feel that much. _As he came closer into view, his eyes rose from the ground and locked into Cloud's, as quick and unexpected as the dart flying into the bull's eye. The blonde swallowed, beginning to wonder what he was supposed to say.

Shortly he found Vincent standing directly in front of him, looking into his eyes as the rain fell all around them, the rain that dove from the sky, sounding like pebbles striking the road nearby. Silence persued them like a hasty devil, and Cloud kicked his feet a little in the sand. His mind was running expressionless and blank.

"...You said you wished to talk to me?" Vincent spoke, the rusty deepness of his voice that Cloud hadn't heard in what seems like years, reaching his ears and giving his heart an affectionate squeeze.

"Yeah. Sorry if I bothered you, or something..." All that he could think to do was apologize, for that's all he felt like doing. Apologizing for bothering him, and not being with him, and missing him, and for everything absent in between.

"I was asleep, and I woke up on the last ring of the telephone, like usual." Vincent replied, leaning against one of the thin, blue metal poles that supported the swingset. He sighed a little, continuing to speak. "Then I heard your message, and I thought I might come out and see what exactly you wanted." Vincent shut his eyes, looking as if he was listening to the relaxing flush of the rain that fell, cold and beautiful, around their bodies. "So, what is it?"

Cloud almost hesitated, but for once, he didn't let himself. He didn't let his introverted, quiet and otherwise shy personality keep him away from what he needed to say; his request to replenish his dry happiness with the sweet water it needed. "...I think we made a mistake, when we..." Cloud paused for a second,, running a hand through his matted and drenched hair. "When we broke up."

Vincent's eyes shot open like he had recieved a major electrical jolt, but he did not looked surprised, shocked or even happy. It had always been hard to detect emotions on the outside with Vincent, something both boys had strangely in common. "...Oh?" He began, not shifting at all from where he stood, eyeing Cloud a little. "I see...Well, I've always thought it was a mistake. But you seemed perfectly happy with Sephiroth, so - "

"Let's just forget about Sephiroth for a minute, okay?" Cloud was surprised at how quickly his voice and jumped out of his mouth, and he swallowed hard. "...We need to talk about what's going to happen with me and you. I don't care about him right now."

Vincent stood up straight, taking a few steps towards Cloud. "Alright, then. I'm not quite sure what's going to happen." He began, pacing for several seconds across the drenched, chunky gravel. "But, I believe it's been quite a long time that I've regreted ending our relationship, I just didn't think you would feel the same. I didn't want to bring it up."

Cloud hopped off the swing, standing directly in front of Vincent, gazing up into his eyes that seemed an exceptionally darker and more beautiful shade of red. "I've just been thinking. I miss how things used to be, like...when we were still together, I was a lot happier, and I think it was better. I want to..." Cloud looked away from the gaze Vincent had easily absorbed him into, trying to gather what exactly he wanted to say from his jumbled brain. "I want to pretend me and Sephiroth never happened, and just...Act like everything is normal."

Vincent seemed to be caught up in thoughts of his own for several instants, and it slightly made Cloud nervous. He began to think that if Vincent rejected his idea to be together again, he would clearly fall out of his own mind.

A smile that was not quite on his lips, but rather hovering behind them appeared on Vincent's face. "I think that's what I've been wanting to hear for a long time, Cloud."

Upon hearing those words, Cloud felt his mind shoot up from ground zero, to so high in the sky it could dance with the angels. "I love you...I don't think I ever stopped." Cloud finally confessed, his body wracked with relief so strong it felt like someone had given him two second surgery to remove the heavy lump of stress inside his chest.

"I love you, too." Vincent's arms were suddenly cloaking Cloud's body in a flash, scaring away the slight chill the rain was bringing into both of their bodies.

Cloud had never felt so joyful, even as they wordlessly started to walk through the park, Vincent's arm incircling his shoulders and his arm around his love's waist. He felt warm and almost as if the rain was not even hitting him anymore, too many emotions were swarming his stomach, chest, heart, and mind to let the weather even pass through his thoughts.

As they walked off into the stormy afternoon, Cloud let his guilt about Sephiroth nag and bite him no longer. He had found where true happiness had secretly been lying for such a long time, even if Sephiroth looked perfect, acted perfect, treated him perfect, and was overall perfect for him.

However, Cloud had discovered the true rule he thought love followed. Love is and never would be about finding the perfect person, it was about seeing someone who is imperfect, perfectly. There was nothing he thought made any more sense, and settling for someone who is perfect rather than the person his heart wholely belonged to, was a mistake Cloud would never come across again; not even on a rainy, imperfect day.

_And that's the way I loved you..._

**The Way I Loved You // End. **


End file.
